Manic Addict

Life's a garbage dump
...It's trife and hardly fun
And when it is you get a bit of happiness
It gets taken away from you and you're back to the crappy shit
It's how we're designed that's saddening
Everything I love's either immoral, illegal or fattening
And when it is I get a break to settle and chill
Anxiety kicks in, it makes me get all a shrill
It's because I'm not used...to having nothing to do
I'm glad its something to you just laughing, humming a tune
But I just think, overthink and think some more
Repeat the process till my brain's on the brink of sore
I want to show God my back and send him the monkeys
Stuff goes wrong I break things, a venomous flunky
Incredulous spunky that never is funky, I mention this, chunky?
Chase it like an adrenaline junkie

Chorus:
Now I don't wish for death
No I just want some rest
Only because I feel like I'm in over my head
But now I must profess
That I might be obsessed
With things that I detest, I'm addicted to stress

When life gives you lemons...they say make lemonade
I'd rather squirt in the eyes of people I hate
I've worked for too long, I'm in the same place
It's hard to move on, not the type to say grace
Oh I wish, I wish, I wish
That my niche could dish this itch
There's other options and I pray to never meet them
It's like choosing which pile of shit to eat from
I need rum for freedom from this cheap dump
The heat comes, I leak blood but I seek love
I'm beat numb, and reek mud and I reap what?
Some meek crumbs, I get fucked like a cheap slut
This vulnerability is filling me and I willingly let it
It's all to my credit so fill me with medics
I'm feeling pathetic, ready to kill me and dead it
But when I talk myself out of it, I really regret it
A Manic Addict

Chorus

The stress of my pain rips through my chest and my veins
And my weapon of second-guessing lessened wrecking my brain
On a quest through the rain always feeling my core grunt
I stress about a lot but my guilt’s at the forefront
I’ll do whatever I can to hate myself less
To stop paying for some mistakes that’s wreck less
I’m not playing like in a game of Tetris
In pain and helpless I’ve felt this hell in droves
I’ll have an episode that I’m sappy with runny nose
So I write a song that’s happy with funny jokes
More and more it feels like I’m strangling fucking hope
And I can never sleep so it has to be something, though
Acting happily with people who casually come and go
And in the end I hurt the one that I actually love the most
I witness it disappear magically up in smoke
My practically sunken hope has me practicing sucking tokes
Cause it’s sad to see nothing, yo.

Chorus